Not wanting to be left out Jesus has decided to accept Bitcoin.
“It made perfect sense”, said Jesus speaking at the Seattle Water into Wine 2014 Conference, “Everybody else is accepting Bitcoin, that I decided to get in on the action. Any Bitcoins set to me and my delegation will be used do amazing miracles the world over”
Note this is the Real Jesus, as in the biblical version, not the Bitcoin Jesus, “Yes, people were a little confused, as they’d heard of Bitcoin Jesus. They really had to think hard to recall the Real Jesus“, said Real Jesus, “Still, I’m the real deal and here within everybody”.
Jesus Continued, “I’m a big fan of disintermediated transactions. Banks have for too long been pushing the profit agenda. I see Bitcoin as a way to reduce the financialisation of the world, which in turn this will lead to a more human, brotherly world”.
When asked what miracles he had up his sleeve, he responded, “We’ve been consulting with Dynamo and newcomer Troy, to get some fresh ideas. Your Bitcoin donations will really hep us pull out the big guns. We have a great parting the seas idea, that we can only achieve with your donations”.
If asked whether the human race needed a helping hand from God to speed up the de-financialisation, e.g. floods, meteor, ice age, Jesus said, “Hey, I’m just the messenger, don’t shoot me. But yeah an ice age would probably be a good idea, the world is getting far too hot, just look at these pop videos by Robin Thicke and Kanye West”.
To make a donation to Jesus send Bitcoin BTC: 1DtGfZGUrHCN5K2hEW2YvW9NKW7cDChLg3
Any donations will be donated to a Christian street church, which does initiatives in deprived areas of Birmingham, UK. Please send a matching email to.